Sunday, February 24, 2013

Chapter 10: The Shortest Honeymoon Phase Ever

Marjorie and Luke Hans honeymooned in Egypt. They were so in love and so excited to be in the land of Pharaohs and pyramids, they could hardly contain themselves. They chose to stay at a campsite to save money.


But they splashed out on a simlish speaking guide, so that they did not miss any of the highlights. Their guide Lorenzo was a wealth of information and suggestions for day tours and sampling local cuisine.


 Unfortunately he had to be very patient because Marjorie and Luke kept getting distracted.


But they managed to squeeze in all the main sights. They would never forget the massive carved desert sphinx.


But really they just wanted to be together - in private and it quickly became "Meh...another pyramid...it looks a bit like that other pyramid."


 And they would rush back to their favourite restaurant in the marketplace and gaze into each other's eyes for several hours, until it was time to go back to their tent to work on the nuptials.

The holiday soon came to an end and the Diarmid's returned home to begin their life together.


At home however, Marjorie didn't feel all that well. Luke said she should be revived and re-energised, but she actually felt tired and nauseous. Luke was worried.


 Then, she began vomiting uncontrollably every morning! She was glad that Luke was out when it happened....Marjorie could not mistake the signs. In her heart she knew she was pregnant




She was terribly worried. They had only just begun to remodel and decorate the house with their meagre savings. Luke was working sometimes well into the middle of the night and they could barely make ends meet. How would adding a baby to this mix affect everything?

 One morning when she got up to make her breakfast, she realised she was starting to show and it would be impossible to hide the pregnancy from Luke any longer...Marjorie resolved to tell Luke Hans and hope for the best. There was nothing she could do, they were in this together and they would just have to deal with the added burden.

Marjorie thought long and hard that day and resolved that she would tell Luke the news. A problem shared is a problem halved. And while she was passing the thrift store she saw a lovely old 1950's high chair. She brought it home and painted it up that afternoon.


Of course it was the first thing that Luke Hans noticed when he walked through the door.

And the sight of it naturally freaked him out. Marjorie confirmed they were having a baby. "How?" he kept saying over and over. "How? How did this happen?" as though he'd never done Health at school, never watched David Attenborough docos all his life. He just assumed that making kind of thing would be harder to do....his head was spinning with the implications. The cost. The change in their lifestyle. It was all a lot to take in.

But eventually, as Luke watched Marjorie blooming into her pregnancy, scarfing down extra plates of dinner every night, he became amazed that they were together creating new life. It was miraculous.

But, becoming a new father himself made him think about his own parents. His mother was getting older. His father....he had not spoken to him for many many years. He felt a pang of regret, waves of curiosity and he knew for his own peace of mind he needed to address the situation.

Several nights later Luke was supposed to be on a job when he found himself outside the ranch that was his father, Benny's last known address. Lights suggested someone was home, so he decided to knock and see if he still lived there.


The door was opened by an elderly man that Luke did not recognise. "Sorry, to bother you sir. I'm looking for a Mr Benny Diarmid. He used to live here I believe?"
"He still does," smiled the man "I am he, how can I help you?"


Luke gulped. He was speechless for a few moments looking at this old man. Then he blurted "I'm your son! I'm Luke." Benny's eyes grew misty and he gazed at Luke for a long minute, he seemed to lose his breath. Then he smiled and said "Nice to meet you Luke....it has been so long...." Benny invited Luke to stay for dinner.


The house was huge. Luke was amazed that he was standing in the kitchen of his father's house while he cooked dinner for him. He wondered what his mother would say? His head was overflowing with questions and blanks that need filling.

Over dinner the conversation was a little awkward. Luke didn't really know how to ask the questions he wanted to ask because he didn't really know this man at all. Benny seemed withdrawn and quiet and didn't say much more than pleasantries about the weather. Eventually Benny asked if Luke was married and Luke told him all about Marjorie.
"We're expecting our first child." he said finally. "You're going to be a grandad."


Benny looked away. He gazed silently at some invisible vision at the opposite end of the dining room. Luke waited for him to react, to congratulate him, to say something. Eventually he said "No, son. I won't be a grandad really. I was never a father, so I have no way of becoming a grandfather, do I?" Luke was sad and silent.


After dinner they played a game of chess in living room. They played like old friends. They did not talk about the past or about the missing years. Luke did not ask any questions or mention his mother Lesley. Benny seemed to appreciate and bask in Luke's company without offering him any explanations or excuses.


And when the game was finished Benny looked at Luke and said "I want to say thank you. Thank you for coming to see me tonight and for letting me know about the baby. I appreciate it."
Luke said "No problem" and they parted with a friendly wave.


 Luke was glad he had come. Somehow he knew he would not see his father again, but he was at peace with that and he knew his father was too.

Luke didn't have much time to dwell on the strange meeting with Benny. There were so many changes ahead.



One day a heavily pregnant Marjorie decided to blitz the bathroom and started cleaning it from top to bottom.


 She told Luke that she'd read in her pregnancy book that it was a kind of nesting reaction....she just could not sit down and do nothing. She needed to clean and reorganise and scrub and descale and disinfect and freshen. Nothing was clean enough and nothing was organised enough. She was doing three loads of laundry per day, when suddenly it happened.....



Luke had just sat down to eat his dinner when Marjorie screamed like the devil was after her. It took several minutes for his brain to catch up with the action.


"Don't just stand there!" screamed Luke at Marjorie - who wasn't screaming anymore, but looked perfectly calm and organised. "DO SOMETHING!!!" yelled Luke.

And Marjorie did do something.


She calmly and bravely gave birth to their baby that night, pretty much without Luke's assistance at all...a beautiful baby boy.


 Curtis Diarmid entered the world and became their whole world.







Saturday, February 23, 2013

Chapter 9: Literally A White Wedding

Luke Hans and Marjorie planned a winter wedding, they didn't want to wait. So when the New Year was out of the way, they booked a date at The Prince of Peace Church.

On the day, Luke met his brother Jethro at the church to get everything ready. There had been a huge dump of fresh snow during the night and everything was gleaming white, crispy and cold.

"Oh no! What a disaster!" Luke complained to Jethro. "Everyone will be freezing and damp. We need a shovel to clear a path to the church."

"No time for that now bro. People will just have to deal with it. Besides white is a great colour for a wedding" Jethro laughed.

Luke was in no mood for quips, he was extremely nervous.

Inside the church Sammie had been giving the job of creative director - his choice of title, and had roped in family friend Chantrelle Riffin to decorate the church. He had gone for simple but effective decor and was feeling self congratulatory with its understated elegance.


"Yes!" he was declaring to Chantrelle, "I think my decision to go with the heart shaped arch will pay off in photo interest."

When the bride arrived, everyone was caught unawares having wandered off, thinking she would be traditionally late. But Luke Hans was prepared, he hadn't left his post at the altar and her couldn't take his eyes off his bride as she walked to stand next to him.

Lesley was a bit put out "Could someone not have told me she had arrived?" she grumbled as the other guests rushed in to take their places.

While Sammie got everyone seated, Luke looked into Marjorie's eyes and said "You look beautiful. I am the happiest man in the world"

The last to arrive was Marjorie's tardy sister Cleo. She rushed in muttering something about being stuck in a snow drift at the bottom of the hill.

Then with everyone present, the vows were exchanged. The rings placed on their fingers, Luke Hans Diarmid married his first and only love, Marjorie Fisher, in the presence of their families and loved ones.

The guests stood and hoorayed as they threw rice and flower petals at the couple.


The reception was held in the church hall adjacent to the church. It was very informal and the fare was a combination of vegetarian dishes and roasted meats


 After everyone had eaten and the formalities were out of the way, it was time to relax and everyone began to let their hair down. Cleo and Chantrelle hit the dance floor.

 And Luke and Marjorie hit the bar.

"I'm just gonna have the one champagne cocktail," Marjorie was telling the bartender, "Don't want to be too sleepy later on for the....nuptials eh?"

Luke Hans suddenly felt a bit panicky. He had forgotten about the nuptials! He thought he'd need several of these champagne cocktails to stay in control and calm.

"Nuptials!!!" the word had him transfixed. "I get to have nuptials now" he thought. "That's so cool"
Marjorie confessed she was feeling a little bit nervous.

 Luke took his wife by the hand and led her onto the dance floor for their First Dance.

"Mrs Diarmid, may I have the pleasure..?" Luke asked.
 "Indeed you may Mr Diarmid, my husband...."smiled Marjorie.
And they danced and danced....

 And there may as well have been no one else there, because they only had eyes for each other.


Later that night, in their cosy little home - Luke was a little concerned when, as they prepared for bed, his bride had gone to the bathroom and come back to bed wearing a head to toe flanellette onesie with domed bum flap. There was not an inch of flesh showing. It wasn't the most erotic honeymoon type garment and he wasn't at all sure how to proceed to break into it.


 But they eventually worked it out together.


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Chapter 8: The Future's So Bright It Must Be Dodgy

While Luke was away at college, he spent his free time playing guitar with some buddies in an amateur band. Even though he'd had no lessons or formal training, a local musician admired his ability and told him he was obviously a virtuoso: a person highly skilled in music or another artistic pursuit.

When he came home, college over, Lesley gave him a special birthday gift. It was a voucher to purchase a brand new guitar of his choice.


He went out and bought one straight away. It was a great present. But it wasn't the best gift. The best gift was being able to see Marjorie once again. After months of only phone communication, they were finally reunited.


Marjorie was speechless when she saw Luke standing in his old room. He had grown up so much and changed into this......handsome man. She just could not find words.
"Are you okay?" asked a concerned Luke Hans.
Marjorie made a gasping gurgling sound. Luke smiled and held out his hand
"I'll take that as a yes...." he laughed.

__ ~ __

Kristofer Blanco had put in a good word with his own boss Oriole Bird and managed to get Luke a job at her "import export" warehouse. Luke was keen and grateful for any job, because he wanted to marry Marjorie as soon as he could afford it. But the "warehouse" turned out to be an old rundown mill on the outskirts of town and the hours were unsociable, mostly night work.

He mentioned to Kristofer, "This wasn't exactly what I expected Kris. Is this even a proper warehouse? And I've been working here for weeks and I've still yet to meet Oriole. Stuff gets delivered in the dead of night but there's no paperwork or proper dockets. I'm having a hell of a time tracing orders and working out mark ups...."
Kristofer was blaze, as he caught snow on his tongue. "Don't stress Luke. Honestly, if you make a big fuss over stuff like that you'll be out on your ear. Just do what you're told and the profits will be sweet. Trust me!"


Luke slumped in despair. "I really REALLY need to make some cash fast Kris. Marjorie is getting impatient. I have no savings and nowhere to live. I can't get a loan and my Mum won't have us living at her place. I'm going to lose Marjorie if I can't come up with something better than this...." he looked around at the ramshackle buildings and junk everywhere.


"Okay, listen." Kristofer lowered his voice. "Do not breath a word to anyone else okay? But if you're prepared to do....extra services....Oriole will definitely see you right. Cash in hand. No questions asked. Do you get my meaning?"
"Is this stuff illegal?" asked Luke, suddenly realising this was some kind of black market fencing operation.
"It's not exactly kosher, okay? But if you want big money FAST, it's there for the taking. If you get copped though, you're on your own." Kristofer winked at Luke and nodded encouragingly.
"Damn it." said Luke, making a decision. "I'm in. Show me where I go and what I do."


With his new role in the Bird Import Export empire, Luke received some welcome perks. Kristofer scribbled an address onto a scrap of paper and told him to go take a look. "It's yours to use for as long as you want it. Call it a fringe benefit."
Luke expected the place to be a dump, like the warehouse. But when he arrived, he found a tidy looking brick cottage, surrounded by spacious grounds and even a large pond in the back yard.


 He let himself in with the key. He was pleasantly surprised. It was very sparsely furnished, but it was clean and he could see the potential.


It was a home. Now all he had to do was sell it to Marjorie and things would finally be falling into place.

 __~ __

So the winter settled in and some time passed. Here is Marjorie on her way to work - hasn't she matured into a striking young woman?

Marjorie was strong willed. She had done well at her private school Dribbledine, but she shunned her Dad's demands that she go to college and study biochemistry. She wanted to make movies. With her looks and strong personality, she managed to secure an internship with Plumbob Pictures. She was basically a gopher, but she knew that all she needed was a foot in the door and her talent and work ethic would do the rest. Marjorie was ambitious and her ultimate aim was to end up writing and directing her own movies.


Christmas was coming up, so Luke Hans thought the best way to sell Marjorie on the house was to throw a gift giving party. She would see how cozy it was, how they could invite their parents over and entertain anytime they wanted. It would be their home.

 At first she was totally underwhelmed. The place was badly decorated and the furniture was sparse and cheap looking.

Tessa drew her fingers over the surfaces and tutted over the dirt. "This place is a filthy hole" she declared, not mincing her words. "And it smells like wet socks."


Luke had pulled out all the stops, serving a roast turkey and pizza and Christmas cookies, even though he was vegetarian himself. While they sat down to eat, Marjorie's mother moaned about the poor quality dinner service, the tinny cutlery and the lack of napkins and "Ugh that tartan tablecloth is giving me the worst headache!"

The more she complained though, the more Marjorie seemed determined to enjoy herself.



 They began opening their presents.
"Good grief!" said a sour faced Tessa, "This couch feels like I'm sitting on neoprene covered rocks."
"Stop being so rude Mum." warned Marjorie.

Tessa sat in a silent fug. Marjorie opened her present from Luke to squeals of delight. It was a box set of Cd's called "Party Hearty - To the Eighties and Back And Don't Spare the Ra-Ra Skirts".

"I love it!!"she beamed at Luke.


When Tessa opened her gift, she neither smiled nor thanked Luke. She replaced the lid carefully and asked if he had gotten a return card with it.

"I did my best." Luke felt embarrassed. "You're a HARD person to buy for...."

Durham, quickly leaped up and suggested he take Tessa home before she turned into a pumpkin...."or a toad."




When they were alone Luke apologised profusely to Marjorie that the place wasn't so flash and he didn't have much furniture.

She embraced him and reassured him "We can buy some, don't worry about that. I can try and decorate....myself. It can't be that hard." she laughed.


Luke felt his stress ebbing away, as Marjorie gazed lovingly into his eyes. "You can do anything you want to it" he said, "as long as you are here with me....all the time."
Marjorie looked enquiringly at him.

"Firstly, these are for you..." Luke produced some red roses from behind the couch.
"Roses are red, your lovely new dress is blue...."
Marjorie giggled nervously.
"Diamonds are sparkly....and this one's for you!"

 Suddenly Luke was down on his knees and all Marjorie could see was a huge gleaming diamond ring. She vaguely heard the words....marry me...


 "Yes! Yes! Yes!!!" she smiled. "Is this real? Oh my God Luke, how did you afford this!!. It's beautiful."
Luke laughed nervously. "Of course it's real. I have errrr...contacts in the jewellery trade." He smiled as Marjorie admired the ring on her finger...he just hoped she didn't want to see the warranty.



But as Marjorie leaped into his arms and he held her close, all he could think was "This woman is worth it....she's worth anything."

And the future looked suddenly bright and shiny as that diamond ring...if also a bit dodgy.